Two Weeks To Say A Two-Letter Word

Contributed by SBOC Member:

Pat Miller

Founder of the Small Business Owners Community

This content was first released in the new Small Business Summary Newsletter. Subscribe below to get insights like this straight to your inbox!

I have a tendency to put off big decisions. But, not ALL big decisions.

I’ll sign off on a conference or buy expensive equipment with just a few moments of consideration. That’s no big deal. The big decisions that I tend to put off are the ones that have to do with other people.

Specifically, I put off telling people NO.

I had an offer on the table from a long time partner that I didn’t feel like pursuing. This person and I have had a great relationship and their offer was enticing. It would deliver exactly what they promised and the price wasn’t bad either. But, I didn’t want to do it. It didn’t align with where my business was heading. The worst part was that I could’ve said yes with very little impact but dang it, I just needed to tell them no.

Easy conversation, right?

“I’m sorry longtime partner, you’re great but, no.”

Nope.

Telling this partner NO sat on my to-do list for no less than TWO WEEKS.

And during that two weeks I waffled (mmmmm, waffles,) through a few a stages:

I’ll just do it: FINE. I’ll do the program and it will help a little. I’ll save the relationship and get to move on.

NO! I need to make this decision: I’ll just zip them an email and say no – if they get mad, they get mad.

And, that is where I got paralyzed. I started to daydream about how I didn’t want to upset my partner and have them think less of me and the business. So, I didn’t do anything and the task sat there waiting for me to act.

Here’s what I was really doing:

Choosing to pay money and ring up unnecessary expenses rather than say NO.
Choosing to pursue wrong path for my business
People pleasing my way into a bad decision

Yesterday, I summoned the courage and wrote an email to say no. Drafting the email took 45 minutes as I wrote and rewrote every word.

“Maybe I should say it this way…oh, they could misinterpret that…”
”Maybe it should be two lines”…
”Maybe it should be a call…”
“MAYBE I SHOULD JUST HIT SEND”…so I did.

And…

AND………

A return email came back in less than an hour later with the kindest, no big deal, let’s get lunch kind of response.

No drama – I was making it all up

No hard feelings – I was keeping myself stuck

No momentum lost – Let’s go get lunch

Every time I go through this, I promise myself that I won’t continue people pleasing my way into indecision. And, when I end up there I try to remember it’s NEVER as bad as I make it out to be.

On your to-do list right now, you may have a big decision or challenging situation that you don’t want to deal with. It could be telling someone no, raising a client’s rate, ending a partnership that no longer works for you – whatever.

I promise you the action that must be taken is faster, lighter, and easier than you think.

If you need someone to hold you accountable then let’s imagine that I’m waiting for you to take care of it TODAY. In fact, why don’t you go handle it right now and then reply to this email with how it made you feel…and how it wasn’t a big deal.

People Pleasing is a Disease…Action is the remedy.

I await your email.

Subscribe to the Small Business Summary!

Contributed by

Pat Miller

Founder of the Small Business Owners Community

Pat spent two decades in broadcasting management and hosting. After leaving the radio industry, he spent time consulting small businesses and realized the support system for entrepreneurs was broken. Where could you find help for improving small businesses and building real connections with other like-minded people. In June of 2020, the Idea Collective Small Business Community was born.